Do you think there are subliminal messages at airports to make people poop so the planes weigh less at takeoff?

Sure. It's something about the music at airport gift shops & restaurants that makes you have to poop. We play the same music at Panty Bread. That's why there's always a sophisticated woman taking a big, loud dump when I go to change the trashcan liners in the loo.

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No, I don’t. The weight of feces does not matter that much on takeoff or in flight. It might burn a tiny bit more fuel in the long run, but not that much at all. Airliners are more than capable of taking off even with the plane entirely full, and over the designated max gross weight.

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I know they do. They even have the smell of a water closet lingering in the air through the airport!
Do you really think that plastic covering on the seat changes each time? I have my doubts!

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Of course. Then they use less fuel. It was part of Obama's energy efficiency package.

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They just charge you for the “extra baggage”……LOL

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No.

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No.

But after they read your question, they'll probably try it!

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no i do not

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haha no, I don't